Hanging out at home today. Decided to drive up the hill, and do some laundry. My kitty is going to be home alone for the next week so I have to come up here and check on him. The fridge is completely empty,my bed is unmade, my four loads of laundry are thrown on on the floor. Eventually i will pack up and go back down for work tomorrow. I want a cigarette. Odd all around. I haven't done any homework or anything else useful today.

Watched tv, a lot of tv. i love cable.

I almost have all my books. I'm deciding between not buying some of them. Because really I don't use them. Kind of bored sitting here. So yeah.

When I saw winter moods in Malta it was kind of boring. But now, after downloading their songs they kind of rock. I think it was just the mood of the concert and maybe the fact that we went drinking quite yet. Anyways i think this song rocks. An everyday anthum because who doesn't want to change?

So short. More later.... maybe

"Shut the fuck up."
"No."
"It's too late. It's too fucking late."
"It's not too late." She reaches out to him.
He pulls away, fighting her burning touch. "It is. Face it. I have."
"What? No."
He sighs and turns around rubbing his neck. "Yeah it is. We can't do this anymore. I can't. I just can't anymore. I'm sorry." Backing away he shrugs.

I'm waiting for this week to be over. I can't wait to be done.

Getting stressed. Must keep everything straight. Math, physics and materials finals must study. My plan is in motion.
Leaving in less than two weeks, i have a right to be stressed. I can do it....

Started reading eat, pray, love Fitting seeing as im about to sail away too. I'm really enjoying this one, we'll see how it finsihes off.

So short. Oh well.

Girl likes boy.
Boy likes other girl.
Other girl likes boy.
None can friends over boy.
Boy and other girls feeling in vain.

It’s some twisted game to reeks havoc on the lives of highschoolers. Sadistic unhappiness plagues them all.

All that separated the two, became nothing.
Always brought back together by some law of fate.
Smiles and sitting.
That bus ride. The end of high school.
Only 10 minutes with you by my side.

The overcoming of obstacles, or more like people in the way. Their false love ruining friendships and two hearts. Fate had other plans.

The car door opened, jingling of keys, a long drawn out goodbye.
Still no kiss.
The last chance passing right before their eyes.
Boy too afraid of girl.
Girl always waiting on boy.
Girl gets in and drives away.

It’s that one moment, that may define the rest of your life. I think that looking in the rear view mirror on that night was the end of mine.

I havent been feeling very good. It changes from one thing to another, I eat healthy so my body is making me angry. Feeling better today though just a headache.
Make cookies yesterday at Lorri's house, yum. Downloaded a bunch of norah jones, currently listening to, very soothing.

Started reading a book today, Boy Meets Girl. Cute and nothing profound inside, perfect for my mood. Will likely finish tonight. May write a little something. Still waiting on more books, i also ordered a new bible, hoping it gets here soon. need cheap books? dont like the library? half.com need to find a used book store around here.
won an ipod nano a new one, but i want the ipod touch so going to try and sell it.

She pulled up blankets bunched up at the bottom.
The light of the bathroom flooded in over the bed.
Grinning she rolled over onto her side.
He winked playfully before flipping the light.
Darkness once again.
The bed sank, and he pulled her close.
Still sweaty.

Went shopping again today. I got new seven jeans. Finally. My other ones ripped and it was sad, a sad sad day. But now I have new ones. They make comfee jeans. Also added another pair of luckies, i love how when you unzip the zipper on the inside it says Lucky You. It makes me laugh. Bought more shirts and stuff. Nothing makes me feel better more than spending more money than i make in two weeks on a whim shopping experience.

The ashes of the night before were strewn about the room. Light was flooding through the bed room window; her neighbors probably have images burned into their brains of last night. She however could only remember flashes sparked by the carnage. Her head hazy from last nights induced state.

He was still lying there lightly breathing against her neck. A tear escaped her swollen eye as she carefully removed herself. The mirrored closet provided the first view of a stranger who wasn't familiar. Her face was not reacting to any of the emotions swirling inside her. Frozen, her lip, inflamed, had a trail of red blood leading down her jaw. Her body bore bruises and cuts from that night.

“Hey”

She looked back towards the bed, his face serious and hers set in a frown of sadness. Her lip quivered as the flood of tears took over.

Quickly he shoved the sheet off and made his way over to her crumpled form now writhing on the floor. He pulled her into his lap and whispered coos and sweet nothing's into her ear. As her sobs stopped, he lifted her up along with him and carried her into the bathroom. Setting her on the counter, he closed the bathroom window but left the bathroom door open to the dim light of the bedroom. Turning on the tap and adjusting the temperature, he quickly removed his sweatpants.

Lifting her head forcing her too look into his eyes worry burned from his crystal blue eyes. Placing a chaste kiss on her forehead, he lifted her back up and moved them both under the spray. The hot water fueled her emotions again, as she crumpled into his shoulder. The stinging of the cuts along her arms and the scratches on her face burned under the water. Crying from the pain slowly melted into a self pity, then to anger.

She shoved him away. Stepping back away from her ineffectual shove, he glanced at her sideways.

"What are you doing here?"

"I... well..."

"You should leave." It wasn't a statement to be debated.

"I won't."

She scoffed at him.

"I'm not leaving. You can try and force me out. But I'm not going anywhere." He held his hand out to her.

She hesitatingly glanced at his outstretched hand mentally having a debate. Her eyes softened as she took the proffered hand and he brought himself back fully under the spray of water.

"I missed you." She whispered into his chest.

"Me too, love." He kissed her soaked hair. "Me too."

"I don't want to stay here anymore. I want to leave. This.. this place.."

"I know you want to. I know this happened, you can't just run away."

"Why not? Everyone else does. I don't want to see that stupid red couch, or set foot on a subway. I'm finished. I've learned my lesson. Karma has come full circle. I can't stay here. There's nothing for me here. Not anymore."

"Okay okay. I get it."

"Now."

"Now?"

"Yes. No packing much less responsible."

He grinned at her. The apartment was hardly lived in. The bed only had a single sheet and sat on the floor. The only signs of real life, were her clothes from last night that she had ripped off herself and a leftover box of pizza in the fridge.

Finally she was no longer running from him. He was cradling her tight into his arms. Running away together he could live with. Their lives had just started in that moment. Not one other person or event could take this away from them. He held her tightly, selfishly. Now he was the one to comfort her, not the one making her cry.

He took her hand and led them out of the shower, still dripping; a trail followed them out to the bedroom. She dumped the contents of her purse out, cell phone, keys, and wallet tumbled out. Out of her wallet she extracted her driver’s license and the pictures of them together. She grabbed the box of mementoes she hid from herself from the closet. They dressed quickly in comfortable clothes. He handed her a key, his key, his only key. He wouldn't be sorry this time, he wouldn’t be hurt if she tried again to push him away. She was stuck with him whether she liked it or not.

Pulling him by the hand she led him out of the apartment leaving the door unlocked. They got out to his car and she unlocked the passenger side door, he felt it again, the feeling that had haunted him for the past few weeks. Then with a quick motion as she opened her door she pushed a button to undo the lock. As he slid in she handed him the key, her key, her only key.